I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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