please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck