ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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