I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it glows. i had to have it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize