I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize