Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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