i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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