you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
