soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
