Your tits are I can't wait for
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
dude. I can hear the air.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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