accomplished twins. life is a go
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
