There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
