did you get engaged???
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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