why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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