Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center