lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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