Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize