He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
