Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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