Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
