she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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