I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Operation Purity has been aborted
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
