Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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