Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
FUCK WHALES
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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