Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
