SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think my moral compass just broke
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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