she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
