Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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