I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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