I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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