dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
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and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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