What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize