Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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