If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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