I think I died a long time ago.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im six kinds of drunk right now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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