I wish I only lived at night.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.