if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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