Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
