I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
