I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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