Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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