ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
