my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
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Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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