is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.