he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES