my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm eating all of the evidence.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.