I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window