Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"