Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
