angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
