we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize