my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
