Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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