Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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