I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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